“….Kagna teraaaaa ni…..sanu kare ishaareeeeeeeeee……” Massive tune right? It's five years old in the autumn, and that song launched a relatively unknown singer into desi-stardom. That singer is Master Rakesh and it hasn't quite worked out as we hoped it would for him. A couple of massive guest vocals here and there but only now have we got a first album, and it's called ‘Zakhmi'.

There are reasons why he's not been as prevalent in the scene as we expected, contract wrangling and rumours of immigration misdemeanours have been around but now Rakesh is free.

However, the drama doesn't stop there. Like a Bollywood version of Miami Vice or something, Rakesh has been ‘funded' out of his problems by the owners of a West Browmich strip joint called Angels, which features heavily in this album on the cover, it more or less has a song and the video for the title track is in the club with the strippers as the typically scantily clad dancers.

This all equates to a debut album which is straight out of SmedRock, or Smethwick as some may know it…..

After a typical intro, the fun begins with the title track ‘Zakhmi'. This is fairly up-tempo with Rakesh singing in a nice Qawalli style vocal, which is also probably his best display on the album. However, Ravi Bal's production is a severe let down. There is no soul at all in the music; the instruments have been plucked from the default settings of the PC and there is no bite to it at all. Kanye West makes his beats sound good because he captures soul through recording instruments live, Timbaland does this through layering instruments, but – sadly – Ravi Bal does neither.

Track three is begins with a Qawalli intro which is nothing to shout about, and then ‘Ek Doh Tin', a more bhangra-style tune. The chorus is quite catchy, but again the production is far too simple.

We are then given a collaboration with Cheshire Cat, called ‘Lagda Na Ji'. Rakesh is on a qawalli vibe again, with a decent performance but again, it's not to the high standards which are expected from him. Cheshire offers what you would bet on getting from him: not much by means of lyrical prowess, but anything he says just sounds wicked….Cheshire Cat sed dat man!!!

Ravi Bal tries to get the pulses moving on track five with ‘Dhulla Surma'. It's got a nice tumbi riff but its potency is not maximised as the beat is more on a dance vibe and it just doesn't work with the desi sounds. Rakesh sounds a little disinterested as he flies in and out of verse and hook at breakneck pace, and this tune is another disappointment.

After that brief surge to the dance floor we are sent back to our armchairs for a balled called ‘Meh Margi'. These are supposed to be lyrically profound but with such a lack of emotion in his voice this just doesn't pull off. It's six minutes long as well…….snoooooooze.

‘Bah Far Ke' is number seven and a weird mish-mash of sounds which are quirky but incoherent and Rakesh's vocal does not sound good at all but could easily have just been shredded by the production.

Track eight kicks off with a baja and is some mediocre bhangra stuff. ‘Nach Mere Naal' is like a typical boliyan with its simple chorus and steady dhol beat, but like so much of this album just lacks some meat (or paneer if you're veggie) in the middle of it to make it fulfilling.

Track nine is a disaster. Seriously, that is the best word for it. I sometimes make criticism about schoolboy errors in productions, but this song has a female vocalist singing in an entirely different key to everything else in the song. It is atrocious from the outset. Rakesh's verse is sounds quite nice for the love song that it is but Sudesh Kumari's voice is off in her verses, choruses and worse still the stupid humming that's been put in the production. Sack the engineer for letting her record it out of key, sack the producer for using it in the music, sack the executive producer for letting it make it onto the CD and I gotta say sack Rakesh for having his name on this song. And worse still, it's nearly seven minutes long!!!! Absolutely shocking.

Things improve (how could they get worse??) on the next track but it still can't bring a smile to my face. ‘Munneya Tenoo' sounds like it would suit a Bolly film and Rakesh sounds like he's really trying to impress but it just doesn't cut it.

The next tune is ‘Lights Off' which is a bit of an ode to the strip club. Rakesh must have a big fat smile as he sings about a beautiful girl dancing close to him in the dark. Despite its alluring to sexual situations, I actually think this is a really nice song; it's lazy and happy and Rakesh sounds like he enjoys this song. One for the lads definitely.

Track twelve is ‘Jawani' which is pretty typical of this album: a bit of effort, a bit of qawalli and overall mediocre.

To finish off there is a forgettable mix of ‘Ek Doh Tin' and then the ridiculous big ups that seem to be a motivation for people making music nowadays.

In a business environment where it is becoming very difficult for people to actually sell CDs, the guys at Maalwa records have bucked the trend of trying to stop people putting it onto the internet by actually giving the customer some added value in buying an original CD. That added value comes in the form of a DVD which has two music videos, a trailer and some behind the scenes stuff on it. It's worth watching for the ridiculous gangsterisms which are laughable, especially the one of Rakesh shooting holes in an Envy Records sign. There's a little bit of eye candy but it won't have you rushing to the strip club…

Now I know that making music can be quite an expensive process with costs for studio time, guest singers, engineers, producers, session musicians, mixing down etc, but if you run a record company you should not be letting a substandard product leave the lab. If a song doesn't sound right then you should just bite the bullet and scrap it because at the end of the day you are remembered for your turkeys as well as your hits. If it goes wrong then learn why it went wrong and don't do it again. But just because you spent a few more hours than normal trying to make it work doesn't mask the fact that it still doesn't work and is of detriment to your album.

I was so disappointed with this album. Master Rakesh is a massive singer and has a lot to offer. After listening to this I had to listen back to tracks like ‘Bhere Bazar' from Rishi Rich's album and Amit Rai's ‘Ishk Tere Ne' and I couldn't believe that it was the same singer. His voice just lacks so much personality on this album compared to my expectations of him which I have been accustomed to.

I'm expecting some hate mail because I've been very critical of this album and I know it's a bit different, something fresh and all that but musically it is just poor. Reputations have been ‘Zakhmi', and this gets a highly disappointing 3.5 out of 10.