It's typical Asian one-up-man ship to have everything better than those around you, and at this time of year it's time to show off the hifi. Sonic duelling is serious, and can get vicious, so for those of you, who are newcomers to this tournament, consider this is a beginners' guide. And the hardcore RMS veterans: checks to make sure you're sticking to the rules.
Get Set Before You Blast:
If your hifi has a graphic equaliser, don't set the levels so the bass is just at the max. Your speakers won't handle it, the sound will clip and you'll look stupid. Try and keep it as natural as possible, let the power do the talking and let your opponent listen to it naturally.
Industry cats won't like this, but make sure that your CD player can play copies. This doesn't mean don't buy originals - you need the quality of an original, but those adverts at the end will have you fumbling for the fast forward button if you've got it on random play. Copy your original and leave out the adverts.
How to pull it off:
This isn't about cranking the volume and waiting for a reaction, you need to out-do your opponent on style and content, i.e. the music being played. Remember this is a bhangra face off, dropping a drum n bass tune with a b-line so phat it needs to go to Weight Watchers is strictly against the rules; you've got to keep it desi.
| Most combatants go for the freshest tracks out there, so you've got to be up to speed with the newest releases and have everything on the shelf at the local Asian music store. Indeed, you're probably thinking that you can get Metz & Trix's new album on the net before it's even been mastered at the studio and you may be correct, but this can go against you. First and foremost, anything downloaded will give you a lesser quality, but you've also got to lay down tracks that people know. |
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Most importantly, keep it serious and think about what your rival perceives to be good music: you may be the biggest Jay Sean fan in the world but the Alum Rock/Moss Side bad boy in the Honda Civic in the next lane will be laughing at you.
So, you've got your system blazing some rip-roaring desi bass line from the hottest artists, but what YOU are doing is also important. You need to look cool and chic, into your music, not like a wannabe gangster who happens to have some serious system. Singing along is a definite no-no, and so is sticking your head out the window looking to see if anyone's watching - that's plain cheesy. The trick is to be doing something. Be it washing the car (all Asians wash their car three times a week in the summer) or mowing the front lawn, even ironing your chuddies in the front room: you just can't be still. Also, your opponent needs to see you. Some pumping speakers may be your voice, but you need your face to take credibility: people bigging up the system at number 43 may think that it was your brother giving it the Balaji, when really it was you coming on big time.
Tips:
Where you put your hifi is important. Playing to the squirrels and next-door's dog in the garden isn't very street, so look for exposure to the people walking past. Front rooms and garages can work, but back rooms will let you down.
If you're in a car, your location is key. You're not going to find anyone to face off against in Kensington Park, so you need to be heading for Southall Broadway - that's where the real systems and big timers are. You're aiming to be king of the streets, not princess of the suburban posh areas.
Dropping an old skool track can play in your favour, but is risky. Gubi Sandhu's 'Dil Karda' was a big track a few months ago down Coventry Road, but the man who played it a week earlier got slated for lacking creativity and fresh tunes. It could win you the battle or send you hurtling back home.
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If you're confident your system has got power then play what your opponent is playing. If he hears your sound louder than his own then you've got a definite win, but if he comes up with a track you ain't got then its time to 'do one' and get outta there.
When putting your car's set-up together, think about your motor. Sticking six subs in the back may make some serious noise but it won't when your wheels start falling off. It also looks stupid to have a system that's worth more than the car. |
Girls don't go for big systems!! You won't pull the neighbourhood's hottest kuriyan by blasting some tunes - it may be impressive but your masculinity will often prove too boisterous for the desi fly chicks out there.
Being in a fast car can be a get out clause in the event of defeat. As soon as the lights change, put the pedal to the metal and screech off down the road, leaving your opponent and the shame behind you. Just make sure that the last thing they see is a Desitunes4u.com car sticker!!
Let The Battle Commence!!! |
